Ngā Pōkaikaha | Grief and Loss

Going through grief and loss can be a very hard and painful experience. All of us will experience some form of grief or loss throughout our lives. Losing someone or something that we love is tough and we all deal with grief differently. You may experience a range of emotions and physical reactions throughout the grieving process. There will be times where you feel like you will never recover and that you will never move forward, these are all normal experiences and it is okay to feel this way.

Understanding Grief:

Everyone’s experience of grief is unique and individual, however there are some commonalities that exist. Understanding the signs and symptoms of grief and loss can be helpful in supporting others and looking after yourself.

Feelings of grief

  • Shock and disbelief
  • Sadness
  • Guilt/Anger/Blame
  • Yearning
  • Helplessness
  • Physical discomfort
  • Numbness

 Feelings of grief may occur following the loss of:

  • A Loved One: through death, break up of a relationship or location.
  • Pets: through death or having to give them away.
  • Health: through illness or accident.
  • Places: As a result of moving away or no longer being able to visit.
  • Possessions: through theft or accident.
  • A Job: As a result of changing jobs or being made redundant.
  • Colleagues and friends: As we grow our colleagues and friends can change.
  • Financial/Lifestyle: As a result of change in life circumstances.
  • Our place in the world – As we grow our world does too; we may miss being a student; experience loss when our children leave home; miss being a certain age or even grieve for good times that we had.

If you are concerned about yourself please get in touch with your GP or alternatively you can speak with a advisor who will help you to identify appropriate supports and refer on as needed.

If you would like to access in or read about the .

If you are concerned about .

Strategies for Coping with Grief and Loss:

  • Take some time out to grieve. This can mean taking time off from work, study and other commitments to allow yourself time to mourn. Or you may like to return to your usual routine as a way of coping. There is no right or wrong way.
  • Seek support from your friends and family. Talk to them about how you are feeling and how they can best support you.
  • Find a way to express your feelings either through talking to someone, writing in a journal, creating music or art, whatever works best for you.
  • Seek guidance and structure from your culture or religion to support you in your grief.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Look after you and keep try keep to your routine. The 5 Ways to Wellbeing model can act as a reminder to take care of yourself during this time.
  • Try to maintain your hobbies and interests if you feel able.
  • Seek out professional support.

Need More Information?

Mental Health Foundation


Coping with Grief and Loss

How do you help a grieving friend?

Grief Centre

Help Guide – Grief and Loss

TED Podcast Nora McInerny “We don’t move on from grief. We move forward with it”

Printable documents

Need Help?

If you require urgent or crisis mental health care please call Crisis Resolution on 0800 920 092 or dial 111.