Pai tū, pai hinga | Fear of failing
We may not often speak about it, but the possibility of failing can be right up there with spiders, clowns and public speaking in the list of what's terrifying in life.
Unfortunately, feeling anxious is not without consequences. Not only can it drain us of energy and steal our enjoyment, it can cause us to avoid doing genuinely worthwhile things because we might fail at them. Moreover, even where we find the courage to do those things, anxiety can cause us to do less well at them than we otherwise would have.
Below are five key messages worth keeping at the forefront of our attention.
Failing is part of learning
Some of the most meaningful things anyone can do in life involve the possibility of failing. As UC Chaplain Spanky Moore likes to say, we should think of failing as a form of feedback, and remind ourselves that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing persevering with until you get good at it.
Even highly successful people experience failing
Failing happens. Setbacks happen. Rejections happen. They happen to everyone, including very successful people. What can make an enormous difference when they do happen is how we choose to look at them.
Failing can be an important part of success
Key to this is reflecting on what went wrong, working out a way to do things differently, and then doing it. What can we learn from failing? In looking to see what might have gone wrong, we can lay the foundation for future success.
Failure and defeat are not the same thing
It is entirely possible to experience failing and go on to greatly succeed in life. Indeed, sometimes it is precisely because we failed at something that our success eventually comes. Is failing a barrier or a stepping stone to success? We each get to decide.
Be kind to yourself
Feeling disappointed with setbacks is completely normal, but our value extends far beyond our accomplishments. While the attitude we take towards failing is important, so is the attitude we take towards ourselves.
Whāia e koe ki te iti kahurangi, kia tāpapa koe, he maunga tiketike
Follow your treasured aspirations, and if you falter, let it be because of insurmountable difficulties
Failing at things is normal. As so many examples show, it's what you do with failing that counts.
Learn from the messages of people who have either experienced or researched success and failure.
Get a bad mark? Practical suggestions to help bounce back
OK. You didn’t get the mark you wanted or expected. Now what? Consider these three strategies.
Support and empowerment
There are a number of ways to be empowered when it comes to anxiety about failing, and it could be that something small ends up making a big difference.
- Under pressure: Understanding assessment anxiety – An Ako Aotearoa resource intended to help students understand and take positive steps towards reducing assessment anxiety.
- Pokapū Pūkenga Ako| Academic Skills Centre — The Academic Skills Centre is an advisory service and resource hub that focuses on academic writing and study strategies to maximise student achievement. Not only is it free for all students from first year through to PhD, the service receives virtually 100% positive feedback from students on their evaluation forms.
- Te Pōpū Rapuara | UC Careers — The UC Careers team help you with all of your career development and job search needs. Want to find out where your degree can take you? Need to hone your interview or CV-building skills? The UC Careers team are here to help you with these and many other career-related things.
- Atawhai Ākonga | Student Care — Finding life at university or home a struggle? Student Care offer free practical advice and guidance to all UC students. Whether you are feeling lonely, need help with time management skills, or have received a letter concerning your academic progress, the Student Care team are your 'go-to' team to talk it over with and look at practical options.
- Mentoring Programme — Mentors are students who want to make a difference for others by sharing what they learned during their time at university. Benefit from the wisdom and advice of another student who has 'been there, done that.' It's also a great way to ask 'that silly question'!
- UC Health Centre's Counselling Service — The UC Health Centre provides a free counselling service for all students.
- Te Tari o te Amokapua Māori | Office of the Assistant Vice-Chancellor Māori — Provides support and services to Māori students, including mentoring, tutoring, pastoral care and guidance.
- Pacific Development Team — Provides support and services to Pasifika students, including mentoring, tutoring, pastoral care and guidance.